We need a Swinger’s Signal!

Deviant already told you of our escapades in Mexico. We found this great couple that we clicked with and both found them attractive. Most of the people at the resort that we came across weren’t really our type. Deviant and I were relaxing in the pool when The Canucks showed up. From the get-go, we got along great. We had dinner together and went to the show together. Deviant and I tried and tried to see if they were open to any type of playing. That night, after talking about it, we knew that they weren’t swingers, but still had some hope. If only there had been an avaliable hot tub…

Well, you know the whole story. Nothing ever happened. We never got anywhere with them. But, this made me decide two things. First, Deviant and I need to go to a swinger’s resort, and second, there needs to be a Swinger’s Signal. We need to come up with something that is universally accepted and easy to display that won’t make the vanilla folks uneasy about us. It can be something that we  wear, or something that we do, or even something that we say. I mean, there had to be swingers at our resort. We just had no clue who they were. And they had no clue who we were.

So, I am open to suggestions. What do you think? What can we have as a secret “Swinger’s Signal?” There’s bound to be soemthing that we can come up with, right?

26 Responses to “We need a Swinger’s Signal!”

  1. Dallasrugby Says:

    I heard somewhere that the question “Do you know George?” is supposedly a n old school swinging secret question. There is a couple in my area that hosts parties and have a web site by that name. I’ve never been but would love to some time.

  2. Nasca tried to push an apple with a bite from it as their sign and a signal for others. They had buttons, watches, shirts, tie clips, cuff links… didn’t fly.

    I certainly wold enjoy a special emblem also, but since one doesn’t exist I just rely on swingdar.
    I am getting pretty good at it too… but a few times I have made some funny mistakes.

    • bottombitch Says:

      Maybe my swingerdar will get better as we go along, but for now… I don’t think I have one at all! I mean, I’m sure that there had to be at least one or 2 couples at the resort that were swingers, but I couldn’t tell you who!

  3. “Do you know George?” lol. Code for – want to go to a really expensive party with 5 other couples?

  4. Haha, it would be convinient to have a secret handshake or something, wouldn’t it? One couple posted on a swingers’ dating site that someone was going to make plastic bracelets (like the Lance Armstrong ones) that said “Lifestyle” or something like that.

    • First I apologize for not approving this sooner, it was in the spam filter and we were on vacation.

      Yes a Lance Armstrong type “swingstrong” bracelet would be wonderful. We also have had a couple of ideas that we are checking on the practicality of.

      It is nice to get in from vacation and see a bunch of material that we need to catch up on, or get started reading in your case swinger girl.

  5. TJ Leeland Says:

    I hope you manage to come up with something. The idea has been batted around for a while.

    As a guy in an open marriage, I wear an “open circle” pendant (looks like the letter “O”) with “Love, Trust, Openness” engraved on its face. It gets the idea across to those in the lifestyle. I’m not proposing this for swinging since it doesn’t quite fit, but I’d like to see something like it; something that’s not in your face.

    I think the bracelets are on their way out as a fad though. We have enough issues with swingers being out of date, I’m not sure adopting one of those as they fall out of fashion will help.

    Anyhow, good luck!

    • bottombitch Says:

      Welcome to our blog, TJ! I don’t think that there will ever be a universal signal, but it would be awesome if we had one. Also, I love your pendant!

      I love to hear from people who are living lives somewhat like ours!

      • We actually just started a meet-n-greet in Reno for couples that are in an open relationship. We’ve made “Love. Trust. Openness.” our slogan. My wife is now wearing the pendant; I bought a dog tag pendant with the slogan engraved on it and I’m wearing that now. I’ve actually been asked about it on a number of occasion (my mother included!), and tell people they’re the foundation our which our marriage is based on. Some people get it 🙂

        It won’t become an international symbol, but it is becoming meaningful within a small group. My only regret about the dog tag is that it’s not “O” shaped; but the dog tag is much bolder and thus the slogan is more obvious.

    • Anonymous Says:

      Why cant we do something with a male female sign and maybe a monkey ? Have you guys seen those shirts that have a monkey on them that says everyone loves a swingers how about this any favors to them I could create this jewlery

  6. problem w a symbol Says:

    It will be tough for a symbol to ever catch on, because in this Internet age it won’t take long for everyone to know what the symbol means – and too many of us are either too shy or too considerate (don’t want to make people uncomfortable) to wear such a symbol around our vanilla friends or in situations w lots of vanillas

    • Well, there are actually a number of subgroups that have a symbol, so it can be done. The BDSM community has a triple ying-yang for its symbol, for example. I’m sure you didn’t know that, and neither does the mother, brother, father, etc of the BDSM’er who wears it. You only have to worry about being embarrassed if the symbol is obvious and crude (which I wouldn’t ever wear either). Just like with the BDSM community, outsiders won’t know what it is because they’re not plugged into it.

      To beat the BDSM example into the ground, if someone were to say, “isn’t that the BDSM symbol?” you just have to look at them like they’re a pervert and say, “Um, no. What are you talking about?” As long as you have plausible deniability, you’re fine. You just like the symbol.

      And of course, if you’re too shy even after all that, don’t wear the stupid thing. It’s not 1935 Germany where we’re suggesting we all be tattooed with a symbol. Even if you don’t like the idea, some of us do. So I say to all of you who don’t want one, “please stop crapping on our parade and keep your pessimistic BS to yourself” Seriously, the world has enough people shouting “IT CAN’T BE DONE!” as loud as they can; even when it’s proven over and over that it can be done. We really don’t need more of you, thank you very much. It’s easy to sit in the back room and and throw spit balls — it takes courage to try something new.

  7. It really goes without saying, but I agree with TJ. I still like the idea of the apple that Inferno mentioned above. It is too bad that did not catch on.

    Anyways, people worry way too much about being discovered to be a swinger, yet I find myself still hiding from BB’s family. The stories I hear of the millenials and their tolerance on open sexuality gives me hope.

    I poke arround your forum, TJ, from time to time. Hopefully it takes off.

    • Thanks Deviant. I hope so too! 🙂

      I have a great story about getting discovered. My wife and I were on a radio show talking about swinging. The host asked me about the social stigma attached to swinging, and if we had to hide our lifestyle. I told her that my brother would freak out if he found out — that he was the kind of guy who wouldn’t let me around his kids, fearing that swingers were child molesters. He was literally the one person I most feared finding out.

      Just after that, we went to the break, during which I got a text message from my brother that said, “it’s OK, you’re still welcome around my kids.”

      It turned out that he’s known for about a year, after I’d sent him a text message meant for my wife; one that mentioned a couple I wanted her to check out on one of the swingers sites.

      Over all, it was a releif. I’ve had a lot less to worry about since then, and he’s never acted any different around me since.

      • Anonymous Says:

        hahahahaha sorry too funny wello let me tell you how I got busted Mom and dad and their mistress showed up at the same part as us lol

      • Anonymous Says:

        LOL! I am soooo happy I’m not the only one! My new husband and I got busted when I texted my 26 yr old daughter that a couple we were interested in. The text was something to the effect of “Hey that couple emailed us back! They’re the ones that live close to us. She has the big ta’s and you liked her ass!” ummmm…yeah. There’s no way to explain that! :-/

  8. We often go on nude cruises and to nude resorts, like Terra Cotta Inn in Palm Springs, CA. We know for certain that there are others like ourselves (actually lots of them) who are at these places when we are who enjoy various levels of “playing” – more than just being nude. I would think that some kind of signal or sigh would really be appropriate, here. Something that you wear – or hang on your door like a “Do not disturb” sign. A few years ago, a national swingers magazine tried to push a fancy letter “S” as being a signal for swingers to use. They even had small, discreet bumper stickers made for cars (we had one) but it never caught on. I really think the only way this will get done is for one of the big lifestyles associations to propose something. Until then, I’m going to use a door plaque with a fancy “S” and an apple with a bite out of it. Do you think anyone on a nudist cruise or resort will know what it means? I’d bet yes. And if they don’t – and ask us – what a great way to let them know!

  9. Anonymous Says:

    I was in England and the Chameleon was the one they were pushing for swingers I think it is perfect

  10. I heard clearing your throat or coughing can ask the question and receive the answer. Think 1 for no and 2 for yes.

  11. Anonymous Says:

    Well, this is just a idea but in mark 12:31 it says “love thy neighbor” so maybe just the numbers 12/31 and if vanillas ask well its just a date with a special meaning to you and your spouse.

  12. Mr Invisible Says:

    I hear that a black ring on the right hand (not middle finger) is a signal that you are in the lifestyle, and when seeing someone with the ring you ask if they are in a club. Let the conversation go from there.

    Any other signals?

  13. Just found nice swinger Black tungsten ring set from amazon, check it out. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00EDFB2SW
    afortable price. for only $39.99

  14. Hi love your story. We came up with this a few years ago. check it out.http://www.cafepress.com/sc24fun

  15. Me and my hubby wear a black ring on out right hands to symbolize for us our openness lol

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